Chaos

Labyrinthine associations in the mind . . . Reason? Insanity? Awareness? All? All that breathes, all that walks, all that becomes . . . Making sense . . . Sensing the moment, feeling as if destined to be . . . To be unique. A complete lack of understanding the systematic arrangement of order itself. Randomness of thoughts . . . Preferring one over the other . . . Actions . . . The next one, and the next one, as if the chain is linked to an unbounded space . . . A host of fortuitous molecules and random elements that form this matter . . . Is it like the haphazardly disposed accumulation of water droplets that forms a cloud? No . . . No affinities . . . It is more complex . . . The knot is not being untied . . . Why can’t others see the variations? Perhaps those are not as scientific as the vacillation of a pendulum in a clock, or the billowing of a rock down a versant, or the crushing of surf on a cliff. They are not linear for them to see the horizon of this divide. The expected and the random . . . Anything that can possibly ever take place, will take place next . . . How random then are thoughts knowing the probability of any event, depending on what just happened? My mind is determined to possess a tenuous amount of rationality. Yet it won't. It is complete chaos . . .